Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a real thing. It’s not a subject you can dismiss, no matter how much denial you’re in. This subject has been an important part of my growth for many years. I have spent many years dealing with the same grandiose behavior. It is not a subject that will disappear so easily or anytime soon. There is so much pain that comes from this subject that myself and others had lost the identity of self. Through the many years of being disconnected from those that you love, and the continuous GASLIGHTING that ensues, the victim ultimately becomes discombobulated. Pain from any turmoil will create a disconnect from self and others, no matter what the story.
I have been that victim. I have spent years in that mindset of not knowing who I was. I allowed bullying to continue for years. I still witness it, but I do not allow it to affect me in the way that it once did. My power that I have grown into is far stronger than the illusion of the Narcissist. The power that they once had over me has far outgrown their own tactics. My belief in myself has turned the tide in my favor so I no longer have to struggle. I breathe more easily, and I swallow my pride of my self-sabotage with it. I had long been in that mental state of denial myself and I chose to not heal but it is now that I speak out. And it is not just for me but for all of you that may need to awaken to your own story.
I write this to let you know that you are not alone, that you didn’t deserve to feel pain on any level. I understand your discomfort and your frustrations. I feel your sorrow when you lose what matters most but it is time to wake up now. It is time to recognize your power and begin to take your position. Take your sword in hand and sever the ties that bound you. Sever the ties of dis-belief, insecurity, madness and pain. Let loose the uncertainty of tomorrow and believe that anything is possible yet again. Your pain, no matter how strong will fade, just like the illusion of the false reality the antagonist soaks you in. You will trust again; you will fly again, and you will soar. YOUR POWER LIES NOT WITHIN THE EXTERNAL CHANGE IN YOUR WORLD BUT THE ONE YOU CREATE FROM WITHIN. ALLOW EVERYTHING THAT YOU HAVE LEARNED FROM YOUR OWN PAIN STORY TO CHANGE YOU, NOT THEM!!! You are in control; you have the ability right now to choose a different thought and a different feeling. You get to dictate your story no matter how much another will try to intimidate you. And for those that still dis-believe, they need not show you the validation that you can give yourself.
I know how hard this road may seem, but the path is shorter than you think, and it is your belief that will give you the pass to the next crossroads. DON’T WAIT FOR CHANGE, BE IT! You are not the disorder from which you fell into, you are not the pain that you discovered within the blockade. You are the victor that chooses to be right here, right now. The next choice is yours; your very next thought and feeling can alter the falsity created by the antagonist. YOUR REALITY IS OF YOUR CHOOSING, SO TAKE A LONG HARD LOOK INTO THE MIRROR, SEE THE CRACKS AND EMBRACE THEM. Feel the power that seeps between each tired line and find you!!!
There is no other way to come out from your story other than the belief of self. I promise you are safe. Step within now and speak of whom you are. Care for yourself deeply and bath in the light that seeps through your reflection. I am honored to share this with you, and I am honored to reflect your light. Be still no more and move toward your new life. A greater change is coming, and you need to be ready!
Walk the Deep Dive.
The Deep Dive Program 2020